


For All Those Broken Nights

by bemylant3rn



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, Angst, Cutting, Depression, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Freaking adorable, Happy Ending, Louis in a band, M/M, Self Harm, cute couple, depressed!louis, how do you even tag?, it isn't one direction, perfection, trigger warning, where did all this sad come from?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-16
Updated: 2013-12-16
Packaged: 2018-01-04 19:22:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1084791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bemylant3rn/pseuds/bemylant3rn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis doesn't want to involve anyone else in his messed up life. So what happens when a new curly haired boy cares a little to much about Louis' broken soul? Louis' music is the only thing in life that makes him feel good anymore, so he can't ignore the feelings that Harry gives him, even from the first time they meet.</p>
<p>The one where Louis depressed and in a band, Harry wants to help him, and in the end it all works out</p>
            </blockquote>





	For All Those Broken Nights

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know where this came from. It sort of just happened. I hope it's good, let me know! Leave kudos and let me know your thoughts in the comments! :)

Harry smiled as he took a sip from the bottle he was holding.  
“I’ll be right back,” Zayn said in his ear, to compensate for the noise of the small club they were in.  
It was just another typical Friday night for the boys. Harry, Zayn, and Liam could be found watching live music at one of the many small establishments near their school almost every weekend. This time, Liam was dragging them to see his mysterious friend Louis’ band that got a gig at this club tonight.  
“So who is this Louis guy anyway?” Harry asks, turning towards Liam.  
“He was in my band class last year, the only electric guitar player. We just talked about music together and became friends!” Liam explains.  
Harry laughs. Liam was the nicest guy; he could make friends with anyone. People often thought that he was the gay one out of the three because he was so outgoing. Funny part was that he was the only straight one.   
“Back!” Zayn exclaims, with a fresh drink in his hand, “They gonna start soon?”  
Just as Zayn get his question out, the band begins to walk on stage and the crowd lets out a loud applause.  
Harry nods as Zayn, sarcastically answering his question.  
“Hey guys, we are One Thorn Rose. Thanks for having us. I’m Louis,” says the boy at the center mic.  
“Fuck,” Harry says under his breath, slowly undressing Louis with his eyes.   
This guy was hot. Like really hot. He had his light brown hair gelled up in a sort of quiff with a few streaks of blue and purple showing through. His arms were littered with tattoos, and you could see one on his collarbones, under the ripped tank he was wearing. Louis ran his hand through his hair, and started to play.  
Harry grabbed Liam’s shoulder for support as he dramatically threw his head back.  
“Mate! You didn’t tell me Louis was fucking hot!” Harry said loud enough for Liam to hear.  
Liam laughed, “Sorry man, guess I didn’t realize”.  
“Who is that blond one?” Zayn asked, referring to the paler looking base player.  
“That’s Niall,” Liam answers, “We should go talk to them after the show, I could introduce you,” he offers.  
“Yes we should,” Harry said quietly, not taking his eyes off Louis.  
After the show is over, the three boys make their way to the side of the stage.  
“Louis, mate!” Liam calls.  
“Hey, buddy!” Louis says, grabbing Liam’s hand and jumping off the side of the stage, “Thanks for coming tonight, man!”  
“No problem. These are my friends Harry Styles and Zayn Malik,” Liam says, gesturing to each boy.  
“Hey,” Louis says, shaking Zayn’s hand, “And hellooo…” Louis says, dragging out the hello and letting his voice get deeper as he takes Harry’s hand.  
“Hi,” Harry responds, blushing slightly as he watches Louis rakes his eyes down Harry.   
“And this is-” Liam began, but Niall was already lost in conversation with Zayn.  
The other three boys laugh, giving them some privacy.  
“So Louis, how long have you been playing?” Harry asks.  
“Um, I picked it up when I was about 16. Never stopped playing since,” he answered, taking a sip of the drink he just ordered.  
The boys all took shots, slowly letting the alcohol infect their bodies. Harry found himself out on the dance floor, dragging Louis behind him. They began to dance very close together, looking into each other’s eyes. Louis lips drifted to Harry’s neck ghosting across his skin, sending shivers down his back. As Louis brought his hand up to Harry’s hair, he notices marks on the skin of the inside of his arm. Cuts. Some older ones that had turned into scars, some new ones that were just scabbing over.   
Harry grabbed his wrist, looking more closely, “Louis,” he said, looking back up at the boy.  
Louis grabbed his wrist away, “I’m sorry I should-”  
“No! It’s ok. It’s fine. I shouldn’t have-”  
But Louis turned abruptly and headed towards the door.  
Harry followed him and watched from the window as Louis took some pills out of his pocket and popped them into his mouth before heading down the street.  
Harry grabbed his curls, growling out of frustration and defeat.  
“Sorry mate,” he heard Liam say from behind him, “I should have warned you. Although I didn’t think anything would happen between you two. Louis isn’t very… stable. It would be best not to get wrapped up with him”.  
“I think it’s a little too late for that,” Harry muttered under his breath.

Louis POV

Louis only had one thing on his mind. That stupidly beautiful face. Those perfect curls. Those adorable dimples. He couldn’t get Harry out of his head. He was so mad at him, for coming into his life, seeing his flaws. Louis was insecure, sure, but no one ever caught on that quickly. In fact some people never caught on.   
Louis head was spinning from the pills he had popped as he left the club earlier that night. He needed to get the feeling out of his body. He couldn’t let anyone get close to him, because he knew he would just hurt them.   
He went to the bathroom and picked up his old friend. His back slid down the wall as he let the blade slide across his skin. He watched as the blood dripped down his arm. Letting all thoughts of that pretty face slip out of his mind, as he slowly drifted into bliss.

Harry POV

It had been several weeks since the night at the club, and all Harry could think about was Louis. He wanted to help him, save him in anyway he could. But he also couldn’t get the image of those blue eyes out of his mind, or those lips, or the feeling he got in the pit of his stomach when he remembered those lips grazing across his neck.  
His eyes snapped open as he heard to door to the apartment shut.   
“Ey, mate! I’m back,” Zayn announced, putting his keys on the table and hanging his jacket up.  
Zayn had been seeing Niall these past few weeks, quite a lot actually. Harry didn’t want to ask about their current status because, well frankly it only made him think of Louis more.  
“Hey,” Harry called back.  
“So Niall was telling me that the band is playing another gig soon, somewhere near by. We should get Liam and stuff and see if we can-“  
“Yes!! I mean, yeah, yes that sounds good,” Harry responded, clearing his throat.  
“Okay…” Zayn said, looking skeptically at Harry.

The night rolled around and Harry found himself in his black skinny jeans and dark Ramones shirt, standing in the club, waiting for the band to begin, yet again.   
Harry looks around the club, taking in his surroundings when he is snapped back to reality by an oh so familiar voice.  
“Hi, we are One Thorn Rose, thanks for coming out tonight”.  
Harry directs his attention to the breath-taking boy on stage that he hasn’t been able to get out of his mind. The first two songs go smoothly, Harry just stands and watches. He can see Liam’s disapproving glances out of the corner of his eye, and he can tell that Liam has a sense of what is going on. Zayn on the other hand, is totally oblivious, not able to take his eyes of Niall the entire time, who also is sporting a goofy grin looking Zayn’s direction quite often. At the beginning of the third song, Louis scans the audience and Harry locks eyes with him. His face immediately drops, his eyes bearing into Harry’s soul. Harry can tell that Louis avoided eye contact the rest of the show. When it was over, Harry patted Liam on the shoulder to get his attention.  
“I’ll be right back. Don’t leave with out me, you’re my ride,” He said, before he slipped off back stage.  
Harry looked around everywhere, trying to find Louis. He just needed to talk to Louis.  
“Harry!” he heard his name called.  
He whipped around to see Louis, looking quite angry, standing behind him.   
“Louis, please I just need to ta-“  
He was cut off by Louis firmly grabbing his arm and tossing him into the nearest room.   
“What the fuck do you think you are doing here Styles?” Louis seethed.  
“Louis please, I came to see you. I just want to talk,” Harry tried to explain.  
“Talk about what? My scars? My cuts? My not so great drug habit? Yeah lets talk about that shall we?” Louis practically yelled.  
“No, Louis you don’t understand, that isn’t why I wanted to talk,” Harry says, becoming increasingly frustrated.   
“Did you come here to tell me how weak I am? How fragile? Because I already know that! I know I’m scum, I don’t need some pretty boy here to rub it in my face!” he yells.   
He quickly turns and his hand flies out to hit Harry across the face. Harry catches his hand, but Louis immediately pulls away.  
“I don’t know why you want to come here, to torture me even more. But just leave. Get out,” Louis growls.  
“Louis, ple-”  
“Get out!” he yells, turning his back to Harry.  
“I haven’t stopped thinking about you,” Harry blurts out, “Ever since that first night at the club, I can’t get you out of my mind. I want to help you; you can get better. Please Louis. I just want to help,” Harry says, a tear coming to his eye.  
Louis takes three big steps until he is directly in front of Harry. He leans in, and Harry flinches, certain that Louis is going to try and hit him again. And maybe he deserved it. But instead, he opens his eyes to find Louis’ face inches from his own. Harry doesn’t know who leans in first, all he knows his that he has his back pressed against the wall and Louis lips pressed against his. One of Louis’ hands is on his waist, the other tangled in his mess of curls. Both of Harry’s hands are combing through the hair at the nape of Louis’ neck. Harry moans into the kiss, earning a moan from Louis as well. Suddenly, Louis pushes his two hands against Harry’s chest, separating them.  
“No, this isn’t- I can’t… just leave,” Louis says, quietly.  
“Please,” Harry begs, looking into his eyes.  
“Leave,” Louis repeats, grabbing hold of Harry’s shirt and tossing him towards the door of the small room they are in.  
“You don’t have to do this,” Harry says.  
Louis laughs, quietly but darkly, “No, I do”.  
Harry turns, walking quickly out the door. He brought the back of his hand up to his eye, wiping away the tears that he couldn’t stop from spilling over.   
“Lets go,” He says to Liam, walking straight passed him towards the door.  
“Harry what happened?” Liam questioned.  
“Nothing. I don’t want to talk about it,” He said, wincing as the cold air hit his skin.

Louis POV

Everything was going fine. Louis thought the show was going smoothly, that they sounded tight, and his mind was free for the first time in a while. It always was when he was playing music. But then he saw him. That pretty face and curly hair was hard to miss. Louis could then only think of reasons why he would be here. To tell him how weak he was, how pathetic he was. To rub in his face just how much better he was than Louis. There was never a positive reason; Louis didn’t have very many positive relationships. He only had a few friends he could really trust, and it had been that way for quite some time now.  
As soon as the show was over, he ran back stage. He would just hide here until that curly haired menace left. But that plan failed when Louis caught sight of him wandering around backstage.   
“Harry!” he yelled in the boy’s direction.  
He was so angry with him for coming here tonight.  
“Louis, please I just need to ta-“  
He didn’t want to hear it. He grabbed Harry’s wrist and tossed him into the closest dressing room, following him inside.  
“What the fuck do you think you are doing here Styles?” Louis seethed.  
“Louis please, I came to see you. I just want to talk,” Harry said, rubbing the wrist that Louis had man handled.  
“Talk about what? My scars? My cuts? My not so great drug habit? Yeah lets talk about that shall we?” He yelled at Harry.  
He didn’t want to hear the insults the boy probably had in mind for him.   
“No, Louis you don’t understand, that isn’t why I wanted to talk,” Harry said, his eyebrows furrowing.   
“Did you come here to tell me how weak I am? How fragile? Because I already know that! I know I’m scum, I don’t need some pretty boy here to rub it in my face!” he yells, fighting back tears.  
He couldn’t contain his anger anymore; he whipped around with every intention of hitting Harry across the face. He needed to take his anger out somehow. But Harry caught his wrist, his eyes again finding their way to the marks that lay there. Louis quickly yanked away his wrist.  
“I don’t know why you want to come here, to torture me even more. But just leave. Get out,” Louis growls, he doesn’t want to look at him anymore. He doesn’t want Harry to look at him either. To see him like this.   
“Louis, ple-”  
“Get out!” he yells, turning his back to Harry.  
“I haven’t stopped thinking about you,” Harry says suddenly, “Ever since that first night at the club, I can’t get you out of my mind. I want to help you; you can get better. Please Louis. I just want to help,” Harry says.  
Louis turns and sees tears coming from Harry’s eyes. No matter how much anger he has towards this boy, there has always been another feeling too. A feeling that makes it impossible to watch that boy cry.  
Louis takes three big steps until he is directly in front of Harry. He leans in, and Harry flinches, so Louis waits for him to relax. He isn’t really sure what happened next, but he pushes Harry against the wall and kisses him. He lets his hand weave into his soft curls, and his other hand falls to grip his hip. He can feel Harry’s hands at the base of his neck, sending shivers down his spine from his gentle touch. He hears Harry moan into the kiss, and there is no denying that he is turned on. He wants Harry. Not just for sex, but he wants him in his life. The feeling he gets when they touch it’s- No. No he can’t feel this way. He can’t let people into his life. He can’t hurt anyone else. He’s done enough damage in life. Louis pushes his hands against Harry, separating their kiss, looking down at the floor.  
“No, this isn’t- I can’t… just leave,” Louis says, quietly.  
“Please,” Harry practically whispers, lifting Louis head to look into his eyes.  
“Leave,” Louis repeats, grabbing hold of Harry’s shirt and tossing him towards the door of the small room they are in. He needs to get Harry far, far away from him.  
“You don’t have to do this,” Harry says.  
Louis laughs bitterly, “No, I do”.  
Harry turns, walking quickly out the door.   
There are so many things he wanted to say to Harry. He was doing this for his protection. He is unstable. He doesn’t want to hurt him.  
He can’t stop thinking about him either.

There was a knock on the door of Louis’ apartment. He gets up, pulling his sweatshirt sleeve down to cover the bandages from the night before. No one needs to see that. He opens the door with out bothering to look who it is.  
“What did you do?” an angry Liam questions.  
“What are you talking about?” Louis asks, although he thinks he has a good idea.  
“What did you say to him? What did you do? He has been locked in his room, not coming out except for food for the past two days. He hasn’t smiled. What happened?” Liam says.  
“Why do you assume it’s my fault? Its just as much that stupid curly head boys fault as it is mine!” Louis yells.  
Liam comes over, putting his hand on Louis shoulders and sitting them both on the couch.  
“Just tell me what happened. What’s wrong?”  
“Liam I can’t… I can’t let anyone else into my life. I can’t hurt anyone else. I’m not ok. I know that. I pushed my family away and I regret that with every breath I take. I don’t want to hurt someone else,” Louis says, tears beginning to fall from his eyes.  
“Harry is strong. He just wants to be a friend. You can let him in,” Liam says, trying to comfort him.  
“He says he wants to help. No one can help me. I’m broken,” Louis says, now fully crying into Liam’s shoulder.  
Liam rubs circles in his back while Louis takes some deep breaths and calms down.  
“Did you ever think that maybe he could help? Maybe he is different. Louis he cares about you, that’s obvious. He does care about your… flaws. He really does just want to help,” Liam says.  
“He’s too perfect to break,” Louis whispers, almost too quite to hear.  
“It that what this is about? Louis do you have feelings for Harry?”   
“I don’t know. I haven’t felt this way in a long time. The feeling I get in my stomach whenever I think about him, its different. I can’t let him go, but I can’t let him in,” he says, defeated.  
“Well maybe you should try,” Liam says, “He hasn’t left the house, you have a pretty good chance of finding him there”.  
Liam hands him a slip of paper with an address.   
“Don’t be afraid, Louis. This could be the help you are looking for,” Liam says and he walks out the door.  
Louis stares at the paper, letting a tear fall, making the ink run.

Harry POV

Harry’s mind was racing. He was so stupid. So fucking stupid. What was he thinking? He could never help that boy. Maybe he was too broken. Who was he kidding; he felt a lot more that hatred towards him. How could he love someone so damaged? Why couldn’t he get through to him, help him?  
Harry barely left his room the past few days. He just sat there, thinking about those blue eyes, those marred wrists, the pill-poisoned soul.  
There was a knock on his bedroom door, Liam peaked his head in.  
“You have a visitor,” he informed Harry.  
“I don’t want to see anyone,” Harry said, looking up at Liam with puffy red eyes.  
“I think you will want to see this one,” Liam said, opening the door a little more, so the visitor could walk in, “I’ll leave you two alone,” he said as he closed the door.  
“Harry,” Louis whispered, coming to stand in front of Harry, who was sitting on his bed.   
Harry turned his face away, looking at the ground. He felt a gentle hand raise his face, so that he was looking straight into Louis’ eyes.  
“You’ve been crying. Why?” Louis asked.  
“Why? Why? You come here after all you said, and you ask me why I’m crying? Because of you, you twat! Because I- because I care about you,” he said, his voice getting quitter, “but you won’t let me in”.  
Harry watched as Louis stared at him for a moment before sitting down on the bed, and putting his head in his hands. Harry watched as his shoulders started to shake, and he knew that Louis was crying.  
“I’m so sorry,” Louis said through his sobs, “I’m so sorry, Harry”.  
“Shh… It’s ok. Just please, Lou, let me help,” Harry said, rubbing Louis back with one hand and putting a comforting hand on his knee with the other. He just wanted to feel him, to know that he was still there, that he could make him better.  
Louis looked up at him, his beautiful eyes rimmed with red.  
Harry couldn’t help himself, he leaned in and kissed Louis. He thought he would react immediately, yanking away and running out, but he didn’t. The kiss became more desperate. Harry wanted Louis. He wanted to feel him, to take him in. Louis brought his hand up to Harry’s cheek, and Harry pulled away from the kiss. He took Louis wrist in his hand and this time, Louis didn’t pull away.  
And just like in every cheesy movie, Harry started to kiss up Louis’ arm. Kissing all of the scars, hoping to kiss away all of the bad feelings. He looked up and saw Louis’ eyes flutter shut. He took the opportunity to connect their lips yet again in a sweet kiss. He felt as Louis pushed them forward, so they were lying on the bed. Harry quickly flipped them over, so he was on top. As they kissed, Harry’s hands made their way to the hem of Louis’s shirt. Louis froze under Harry, and Harry gently lifted his shirt, to see why. His sides, hips, were all covered in scars as well. Harry gently lifted Louis shirt over his head, then removed his own. He bent down, started from the top of Louis jeans and kissed all the way up, tears falling from his eyes.  
“So beautiful, so broken,” he muttered into Louis’ skin, and he knew Louis was crying too, but he didn’t stop him.   
When he got to his neck, he nuzzled his face there, sucking the skin, leaving a mark. A good mark, a mark that showed someone cared.   
“Please,” Harry begged into Louis’ skin, “Please let me help, I want to fix you”.  
Louis broke down, and Harry held him. The boys lied there, crying together, Louis in Harry’s arms.   
“Yes,” Louis whispered into Harry’s skin, before drifting off into the first real sleep he had in a while.

Louis POV

There was no fighting it anymore. Louis had feelings for Harry, feelings that he hadn’t let himself succumb to in a long time. He felt happy around Harry. The kind of happiness that he had only been able to find in playing music, until now. He wanted to be by Harry every second he could, and lucky for him, Harry felt much the same way. The best nights were the nights when he fell asleep looking at that perfect face, and the best mornings were the ones where he woke up with that familiar heat against his skin. He wishes he could tell Harry how he really feels. That he lo- well the time will come.  
“Mmm morning, Boo,” he hears Harry mutter, his voice gravy from sleep.  
“Morning, Hazza,” he responds, curling closer to the warm body beside him.  
“You know what today is?” Harry asks, placing light kisses in Louis hair.  
“Tell me,” he says.  
“Our three month anniversary. Well at least this is the day that you said yes, so I count that as the first day we were together,” Harry explains.  
Louis smiles into Harry’s skin, pleased that the other boy remembered too.  
“We should do something special!” Louis says, leaning up on his arm.  
“Way ahead of you, Boo. I have quite the special night planed,” Harry says with a cheeky wink.  
Louis feels butterflies in his stomach, excited for what might be in store.   
Harry rolls out of bed and starts getting dressed, Louis groans at the loss of contact and warmth.   
“Sorry, I have to go take care of a few things. But we have my apartment to ourselves tonight cause I kicked everyone else out. And I am going to give you the sappiest, romantic night,” Harry said, finishing his sentence with a peck on Louis lips.  
Harry left, and Louis lied in bed thinking about the past three months. It had only been three months, but it felt like so much more. He thought about the first night Harry stayed over. When he left, Louis was so upset. Harry had to go hang out with his other friends and Louis felt rejected. He cut that night. The next day Harry came over and saw the damage and cried with Louis, telling him that he would never reject him, he couldn’t. That night was the night that Harry got rid of all of Louis’ razors. That was the last time Louis had cut in three months. It wasn’t that he never wanted to, even though the urges were few and far between now. But whenever he did, Harry was there, kissing his wounds, telling him how beautiful and perfect he was, and how much he cared. Louis thought about the first night they did more than kiss. Harry knew he wasn’t ready to go all the way at the time, and he didn’t push. Harry was so gentle and caring, and Louis felt truly happy with him. Maybe Liam was right; maybe this was what he needed. Maybe he wasn’t as broken as he thought.

Harry POV

Three months? It had only been three months? How could he care this deeply for someone after only three months? There was no denying he had fallen hard and fast for Louis, and tonight, he was going to show him just how much he cared. He had cleared the apartment of its extraneous residents, making Liam go to his girlfriend’s house and “forcing” Zayn to spend the night with Niall back at his and Louis apartment. He was cooking a homemade meal. Chicken and pasta, garlic bread, it all smelled so good. He had set the table, candles and all. He even got Louis roses. That last bit was mostly because he just wanted to see the blush on Louis’ cheeks when Harry handed them to him.   
Louis was going to be here in an hour, so he finished the food and kept it warm while he went upstairs to get ready. After a quick shower, he threw on some tight black jeans and a blue button down shirt with the first few buttons open. He ran his fingers through his hands a couple times before running back downstairs.   
After he checked on the food and double-checked everything for perfection, he was about to sit down when he heard the long awaited knock at the door.   
He opened it to see Louis standing in front of him, looking perfect as usual.  
“Hello beautiful,” Harry said, leaning in for a kiss.  
“Shut up,” Louis muttered, smiling against Harry’s lips.  
“Close your eyes!” Harry suddenly said, throwing his hands over Louis’ eyes.  
Louis laughed, but followed instructions as Harry took his hand and guided him inside.   
Harry grabbed the roses and hid them behind his back before skipping back and landing in front on Louis.  
“These are for you,” he said, pulling out the roses, “Open your eyes”.  
Louis did as he was told, and have could see his chest rise as he drew in a quick breath.  
“Haz, babe, you got me roses?” he whispered, his voice getting higher as he went.  
Harry laughed, “Yeah, only the best for my perfect boyfriend,” he said with a smile.  
Louis took the roses, looking at them before looking back up at Harry. He suddenly threw his arms around Harry’s neck, kissing his roughly on the lips.  
“Well, I made dinner. We wouldn’t want it to get cold now would we?”  
“You made dinner?!?” Louis exclaimed loudly, earning another laugh from Harry.  
“Come on, Boo”.  
“Hazza, why are you literally the cutest thing ever?” Louis asked, as soon as he saw the table all set up.  
The two had a perfect dinner laughing and chatting the whole time. And even when they weren’t talking, it was comfortable, they just got to look into each other’s eyes and be together and happy.  
After dinner they watched a movie, Love Actually, Harry’s favorite since he thought he should get something out of the night too.   
At the end of the movie, Harry was sitting on the couch with his feet propped up on the footrest in front of him with Louis head in his lap and he lied on the couch. Harry absentmindedly ran his fingers through Louis’ hair, taking in the silence. Louis breathing was easy and rhythmic as he slept on Harry’s lap.   
“Lou, I know you probably can’t hear me right now, but that’s ok. These past three months I have fallen harder for you than anyone I have ever met. You are sweet and gentle and beautiful. You may have been broken when we met, but you are so much better now. I can’t believe how far you have come and I am so proud,” Harry started to choke up, “I really… I don’t know how I came to care about you so fast but Louis I… I love you. I really do”.

Louis POV

“I really… I don’t know how I came to care about you so fast but Louis I… I love you. I really do”.  
Louis body tensed. Shit. Now Harry would know he wasn’t asleep.  
“Lou? Are you ok? Boo?”  
“Yeah” Louis responded quietly.  
“Oh my god Louis, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to overwhelm you, I thought you were asleep I just… I wanted you to know”.  
Louis sat up, looking Harry in the eye, “Do you mean it? Really?” he asks seriously.  
Harry paused as he started back, “Yes. I do Louis. With all my heart, I love you,” he said quietly.  
Louis shifted sitting on his knees, so his face was level to Harry’s and just inches away.  
“I love you too,” he said, before slowly connecting their lips.  
Harry moaned into the kiss, and Louis wasn’t sure it was because he was caught off guard or because he liked it, either way, he didn’t stop Louis. The boys pulled away when they ran out of breath, and Harry’s lips can to rest right below Louis’ ear.  
“Bedroom,” he whispered in a husky, lustful voice, “Want to make you feel good Lou, want to make you feel beautiful”.  
Louis let a moan escape from his lips as he took Harry’s hands and dragged him to the bedroom.  
Harry pushed him onto the bed, climbing on top. His hands ran down Louis’ chest, coming to the bottom of his shirt. Louis reached down to pull his shirt over his head, but Harry stopped him.  
“No, Boo. Tonight is about you,” Harry said as he gently pulled Louis shirt over his head.   
Soon the boys were in very minimal clothing and things were getting quite heated.  
Louis reached down to pull down Harry’s boxers, but he felt a hand stop him.  
“No, Louis. You are going to start something that you aren’t ready to finish. I understand. It’s ok,”  
“But Haz I do, I want you,” Louis said looking into Harry’s eyes.  
“You- what? You do? Are you sure?”  
“’M sure,” Louis said, watching as Harry’s eyes became black with lust.  
Harry pulled off the rest of the remaining clothing separating the two boys. He looked at Louis one more time, as if to confirm the next few actions. Louis gave a small nod.  
“I love you,” Harry said against Louis lips.  
“I love you too,” Louis responded before giving into the lust.

Harry POV

Harry woke up to a warm sensation pressed up against his side and gentle lips dancing along his neck, up to his ear, and finally pressing light kisses to his lips.  
“Morning baby,” Louis said, seductively nibbling on Harry’s earlobe.  
“Morning Boo,” Harry responded, turning so he was facing the boy who was lying next to him.   
Harry felt the overwhelming urge to just pull Louis in and hold him while whispering sweet nothings in his ear. He just wanted to lye there and do it all day long. But they both had work, and Louis had rehearsal. 

That night, Louis asked Harry over his apartment, and with just his acoustic guitar, he performed the song he had written for Harry. He called it Little Things, and it was the sweetest, most genuine thing Harry had ever heard. And he cried. Louis told him it was just as much about the way he felt about Harry as it was about the way he knew Harry felt about him. And that was true. Harry did love all of his little things. He noticed more of them everyday. Like the way Louis’ nose scrunched when he didn’t like something, or the way he muttered in his sleep, or how he yawned and rubbed his eyes like a little baby first thing in the morning. Harry didn’t think he would ever get over how much he loved Louis. That wasn’t going to change.

Through the next few weeks, Harry made a new friend. He was a radio DJ named Nick. The two got really close, sharing music and it was great. Him and Louis seemed to get along well too, which was even better. Harry spent a lot of time at the station, learning how everything worked. He was really interested in music as it was, being on the radio would be like a dream come true for him. 

No matter what though, he went to everyone of Louis show, and always showed him how much he liked them later that night when they were alone. His favorite days were when he woke up next to Louis, and that was becoming a regular thing for the two boys. The two boys were lying in bed one day, and Harry suggested something that he thought would defiantly not go over well, but it was worth a try.  
“Hey Lou?”  
“Mhm?” Louis grunted, still half asleep.  
“Your birthday is coming up soon. I think that maybe you should, well we should have a party. And maybe you could… invite your family,” Harry said, bracing himself for the response.  
“My family?” Louis questioned, “I haven’t talked to them in years. I miss them so much. Will you sit with me while I do it?” he asked.  
“Will I… Of course!” Harry said excitedly, caught off guard by the unexpected answer.  
Harry looked over at Louis and kissed him holding his face in his hands.   
“So proud of you,” Harry said against Louis’ lips before pulling away, “Look at how far you’ve come”.  
“If it wasn’t for you, Haz… I don’t know where I would be,” Louis said, looking up at Harry.  
Harry kissed him one more time, slowly and sweetly, kissing away any old memories that he didn’t was Louis thinking about.   
Harry got up and began to get dressed, while Louis stayed in the bed.  
“Where are you going today?” Louis asked.  
“I have a few hours of work, then I’m going to the station to hang out with Nick,” Harry answered.  
“Oh, cool”.  
“Then, tonight when we get home, I’ll cook you dinner, and we can call your family ok, Boo?” Harry said, crawling across the bed until he was over Louis, pressing light kisses to all exposed skin he could find.   
“Sounds like a plan,” Louis responded, pulling Harry’s face up so they could kiss goodbye.  
“Nice ass,” Harry heard as he walked out the door.  
“Right back at you, baby,” Harry responded, turning his head for a quick wink before he walked out of the room laughing to himself. 

Louis POV

Nick was a nice guy; there was no denying that. But Louis also couldn’t shake the slight jealousy he felt every time Harry left the bed to go see Nick. I knew he was just being paranoid, but that’s just who he was. He gave all or nothing, and he had given his all to Harry, he didn’t like it when other people got in the way. But he pushed the feeling to the back of his mind, not wanting to deal with it.

The moment of truth was finally here. Louis was sat on the couch, facing Harry, both boys sitting criss crossed. Louis’ hand shook as he dialed the number. He got half way through and stopped.  
“I can’t do this Harry,” Louis said.  
“Yes you can, Boo. You got this,” Harry encouraged.  
“I got so angry at them and took myself out of their lives. I would never forgive me if I was them,” Louis explained.  
“Louis, they are your family. They will always love you. I’m positive they will be ecstatic to hear your voice,” Harry said with a comforting tone.  
“Will you talk first?” Louis asked in a small voice.  
“Sure, Boo. Of course”.  
Louis dialed the number and handed to phone to Harry. There was a pause as the phone rang, and suddenly Harry cleared his throat.  
“Uh, yes. Is Jay there? Jay Tomlinson?” Harry asked, “I have someone here who would like to talk to you,” Harry said as he handed to phone to Louis.  
Louis took a deep breath before taking the phone from Harry.  
“H-hello?” He said quietly.  
“Hello?” familiar voice echoed back.  
“Hi, uh… mum?”  
“Louis?”  
“Yeah, hi,” Louis said for the third time.  
“Oh my god. Is this Louis? My Louis? Louis!” She exclaimed, and he could tell she was choking up.  
“Yeah mum, its me. I just- I miss you. And I’m sorry,” Louis said, stumbling over his words.  
“Oh, baby boy, you don’t know how good it is to hear your voice. Yes its- its Louis, girls. Do you want to say hi?”  
The phone got passed through all his sisters, they all cried and were happy to hear he was ok and getting better. Once they had all gotten a little control over their emotions, Louis got to the question he wanted to ask.  
“So um, mum. My… boyfriend…” he said, looking up, earning an encouraging smile from Harry, “My boyfriend, Harry, wants to throw me a small party for my birthday. I was wondering if you and the girls would come? I want to make up for lost time. I really would like to see you,” Louis said.  
After they made plans for his family to come stay for his birthday and Christmas, he hung up the phone and attacked Harry with the biggest hug ever.   
“Thank you. I can’t thank you enough. For everything you have done for me, really. Thank you,” Louis said, kissing Harry before he could respond.

Harry POV

Harry had a guest coming with him to Louis’ concert tonight. He was so excited to finally show Nick One Thorn Rose. Honestly all he wanted to do was show off his talented boyfriend, but also, Nick had pull in a pretty big radio station. He could help get Louis out there. Harry could only hope. He went backstage alone before the show to give Louis a good luck kiss before heading out to the audience to watch the show.   
Something seemed off about Louis during the show. Harry couldn’t put his finger on it, but it was probably just some band problem, nothing he had to worry about. Harry teared up as usual when Louis sang their song, and Nick seemed to be really enjoying the music.  
He said bye to Nick after the show because he was going to be going back to Louis’ apartment. Harry rushed backstage to give Louis a hug and tell him how great he was.  
“Hey you beautiful,” Harry said, pulling Louis into a kiss.   
Louis pulled back sooner than normal, but gave Harry a smile.  
“Are you ok Boo?” Harry asked concerned.  
“I’m fine,” Louis assured with a smile, “You’re with me, I’m fine”.

Louis POV

He brought Nick. Harry brought Nick to the concert. He had never brought anyone with him to Louis’ concert besides Zayn and Liam, but he knew he didn’t have to worry about them.   
Louis was feeling more unstable than usual, and he hated it. He felt sane for the first time in a long time with Harry, and he thought all of the bad times were behind them. But Louis had an itch he knew he shouldn’t scratch. He couldn’t tell Harry how he felt because he didn’t want to hurt him. Harry had done so much for him; it would kill him to hear that Louis was feeling this way.   
Harry came backstage as he usually did and Louis tried his best to hide his sadness. He knew in his core that Harry wasn’t going to leave him behind, but there was something there, pushing, telling him that Harry was too good for him. He tried, really tried, to not let it get to him.  
When they got back to Louis’ apartment that night, they went almost straight to bed. Louis took a shower and cried. He made some excuse of how he got shampoo in his eyes, hoping that Harry would believe him. He fell asleep that night with Harry pressed against his back, his steady breath on his neck. A picture of the two of them sitting on his nightstand was the last thing he saw before he let sleep take over.

Harry POV

Harry had the best idea. The idea of all ideas. This idea was truly amazing, and he couldn’t believe it was actually going to work. Nick fell in love with One Thorn Rose’s sound. He thought they ought to get some airtime. So for Louis’ birthday, Harry was going to make sure that it happened. He and Nick needed to talk to some business and legal people. They had the rest of the band in on it, but they were keeping it a secret from Louis. All Louis knew was that some people were coming to watch them one night, like scouts, and that Harry had to go to some non descript radio meeting with Nick.  
Harry didn’t tell him what he was doing when he was going to meetings with Nick and the band, or just Nick. But he couldn’t wait to see the look on Louis’ face when he heard his song- no- their song, on the radio.  
Louis’ birthday was coming up fast, and tonight was the final meeting with Nick and the radio people before they could make this plan a reality. It was also the night that the people were coming to watch the band, but Harry wasn’t worried. He knew they would blow them out of the water.   
“Tonight is the night that they are coming!” Louis said, jumping up and down in his room, while Harry watched and laughed.   
“Calm down, Boo. You are gonna hurt yourself!” He said, putting his hands on Louis’ shoulders to cease the jumping.  
“Well I have a…meeting with Nick, so I better go soon,” Harry said, grabbing his sweatshirt.   
“Hazza you have been with Nick a lot lately, is something up?” Louis asked, his eyebrows creasing.  
Harry winked, “Don’t worry your pretty little head about it, ok Boo? I gotta go,” Harry said, pecking Louis on the lips before heading out the door.  
Harry was practically bursting with excitement. This was the moment. 

The radio people were late. 2 hours late. But the meeting seemed to be going well. Harry checked his watch and noticed that he was missing Louis’ show. He would apologize massively later, but this meeting was going to pay off. And he knew Louis could do it. He was amazingly talented, Harry new that they would see that. His Boo was perfect.

Louis POV

Harry didn’t come backstage before the show. He always came backstage before Louis went on. This had Louis on edge to begin with. Louis lost it when he saw that Harry wasn’t even in the audience. He wasn’t here. He knew that the scouts were coming tonight and that Louis needed him now more than ever. Louis was so angry. The show went fine, not their best, but that didn’t matter to Louis right now. He ran offstage, wracking his mind on where Harry could be. Was he ok? Where could he- Nick. He was with Nick. He was probably fucking Nick and didn’t want Louis to find out. Of course he could just be jumping to conclusions, but he didn’t care. Harry was spending so much time with Nick, he probably didn’t even love Louis anymore. Louis grabbed his stuff and rushed home to his apartment. Harry wasn’t there either. He called his phone, Harry didn’t answer. Louis threw his phone across the room, hearing it land with a clatter on the wood floor.  
How could he? How could Harry just replace him like that? Bastard. Harry was too good for him. He didn’t deserve Harry. His mind was racing with the millions of reasons that their relationship didn’t make sense. Louis was crazy; he was stupid to think that Harry could ever love him this long. Why would Harry stay with him when he could have Nick?  
Louis picked up the picture of them that he kept on his bedside table. He stared at it, his tears pooling on the glass. He carried it with him as he walked to the bathroom, running his hand down the image of Harry. He threw it down on the tile floor, angrily, the glass smashing into pieces. Louis quickly rummaged through the cabinets for something, anything to ease the pain. He found a bottle of pills from god knows when, and sat down on the floor, his back against the cold wall.   
He poured a handful of the pills into his palm, staring at them before tossing them all in his mouth and chasing them with water. He didn’t care; he just wanted this pain to go away. He picked up a piece of the jagged glass that lay on the floor next to him. He spun it around between his fingers, and watched the light reflected off the shiny surface. He brought the edge to his wrist as he pushed down hard, and dragged is across his skin. He smiled as he felt that familiar sensation he had gone so long without. Again and again, watching as the blood rushed out of his skin, some hitting the floor. Everything was getting hazy, and Louis could only hope that it would all be over soon.

Harry POV

“Boo!” Harry called, walking into Louis’ apartment with a grin on his face, “Baby, I’m so sorry I couldn’t come tonight! I had a meeting and believe me when I say it will all pay off. I will make it up to you though, I promise. And I have a couple good ideas of how,” Harry finished suggestively.  
There was no response from Louis, so Harry tried again.  
“Boo? Baby? Where are you?” Harry said, still no answer.  
He was getting worried. Harry ran to the bedroom, it was empty. He ran to the bathroom and was confronted with a horrific sight.  
“No. Oh god, Louis, NO!” he yelled, rushing over to the boy who lay slumped against the wall.   
A bottle of pills were spilled beside him, broken glass everywhere. Louis was sitting, unconscious and there was blood, so much blood everywhere.  
“What have you done? Louis, why? FUCK!” he yelled through his sobs.   
He called 999, and just sat holding Louis, crying, cursing himself, wondering what he had done to deserve this. What had he done that he deserved to come home to see the boy he loved more than anything in this world, the only person he had ever loved this much, like this? Harry felt like his heart was broken into a million pieces, like he may never smile again if he couldn’t have his Louis. Harry picked up the frame that lay on the ground, picture side down. He recognized it as the picture Louis kept in his room of the two of them. Was he the reason that Louis did this? He would never forgive himself if Louis died. Never. 

Louis POV

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.  
He fluttered his eyes, as his vision slowly became less hazy. He was in a hospital. It wasn’t the first time, but it had been a while. The first thing he noticed was Harry, sleeping with his head on the table next to Louis’ bed, his hand on Louis’ leg. The second thing he noticed was this mother, sitting in a chair, staring at the ceiling.  
“Mum?” he asked confused, his voice rough.  
“Louis? Oh my boy, my baby boy. You’re ok, its going to be ok,” she blubbered as she rushed to Louis side, sitting on his bed, on the opposite side from Harry.   
She kissed Louis, and he cried quietly, explaining everything to his mother. They whispered as to not wake up Harry. It felt so good to talk about all of the anger and sadness he was feeling.  
“How long has he been here?” Louis asked, when he was done telling his story to his mother.   
“He hasn’t left. He threw a fit when they said family only. He has quite a… colorful vocabulary,” she said with a laugh, “He insisted that he couldn’t leave your side. So he has been here the whole time. He finally fell asleep a few hours ago”.  
Louis shifted, moving his leg, which disturbed Harry’s hand.   
“Mmfm,” Harry muttered as he rubbed his eyes and his neck before he finally looked over at Louis.  
“Hi Hazza,” Louis said quietly.  
“Hi Lou,” Harry responded unconsciously, “Wait, Lou? Louis? Oh my god your ok,” he cried, smashing his lips against Louis, tears soaking the kiss.   
“I love you, I love you so much. I’m so sorry, I don’t know what I did I just- Don’t leave me Louis. I can’t be without you. I need you. Please, I love you,” Harry sobbed into Louis’ chest, sitting on the bed next to him.  
“I’m going to give you two a little privacy. Harry, I think you two need to get your stories straight,” Jay suggested with a smile.  
Louis took a deep breath and confessed everything to Harry. How he thought that he was leaving him for Nick, how he thought that Harry was too good for him, and how he snapped when Harry didn’t show up at the concert.  
They both cried and Harry assured him that he would never leave him. He told him that he thought Louis was too good for him. He assured him that he loved him and always would.  
“And Nick… I was never with him, like that. We were working on something for you. I surprise for your birthday. Your whole band was in on it. I just wanted to keep it a secret. I’m so stupid, I never realized how it must have looked,” Harry explained.  
Louis’ heart swelled hearing Harry’s words, he knew now that Harry would never leave him, he loved him.  
“I love you too, baby. I’m so sorry I doubted you,” Louis said.  
“It’s ok, Boo. Just promise me, promise you won’t ever do this again. I can’t lose you Louis”.

Louis was released the day before his birthday. He was already getting better, and Harry had vowed to him that he would always take care of him. His whole family was staying at his apartment, so Niall had temporarily moved into Harry, Zayn, and Liam’s apartment. But lets face it, he basically lived there already, so it wasn’t really that much of a burden. The whole family, and Harry of course, enjoyed one of Jay’s home cooked meals that night, and everyone was smiling.   
That night, Harry made up for missing the concert to Louis, and Louis couldn’t have asked for a better apology. Harry was gentle and perfect, treating Louis like a delicate flower, satisfying him in everyway possible. In that moment he was sure he would never love anyone else like he loved Harry.

They next day, Harry threw a small party as promised. Louis’ family and friends were all there. All his sisters ran around and played. Niall and Zayn never left each other’s sides as usual. Liam and his girlfriend came, and everything was great. Harry had made him a cake and it was delicious. Him and Harry may have had a small frosting fight, getting it all over each other.  
“Hey Boo, you have some frosting on you”.  
“Where?” Louis asked pouting, sure he had gotten it all.  
“Here, let me get it,” Harry said, leaning in and kissing Louis, “All better,” he whispered against Louis’ lips, causing him to giggle.  
Harry’s phone vibrated and suddenly his face broke out into a huge smile.  
“Ok, Lou. It’s time for your surprise,” he said, pulling Louis into the other room where everyone else was, “Surprise time!” he called.  
Harry turned on the radio and tuned it to Nick’s station. Everyone sat down, and Louis had butterflies in his stomach. He had no idea what was going on, no idea what to expect.   
“Alright everyone,” he heard Nicks voice say, “I got some new music for you. This band is great and most definitely up and coming, so keep and eye out for them! Let me know on twitter what you think”.  
Then Louis heard the song, the familiar acoustic guitar melody that he had grown so fond of. He let out a surprised breath as he realized that he was currently listening to his song on the radio. The song he wrote. The song he wrote for the beautiful boy sitting next to him.  
“Hazza, you did this? For me?” Louis asked, tearing up.  
“Of course, Boo. I would do anything for you. Always,” Harry said.  
Louis broke out into the biggest smile, feeling happier than he had felt in a long time. He was with his friends, family, and amazing boyfriend, listening to himself on the radio.   
At the end of the song everyone cheered. Louis got a million happy birthday wishes from everyone around him, and a few thousand more twitter followers after people found out about his band.  
That night it was Louis’ turn to take care of Harry, as a thank you for all he had done. And to remind him of how much Louis loved him.

Harry POV

Harry’s favorite thing was still waking up next to Louis. His second favorite thing was the adorable smile on his face when he heard his song on the radio for the first time. Harry thought about the little things he loved about Louis. The way he bobbed his head to all music that he listened too. The way he ate around the edge of the toast first before eating the middle. The way he smiled into their kiss when he was truly happy. These are things that Harry would never get tired of, and he hoped they would be around for a long time to come.

No POV

Louis was almost 2 years clean and booking his first real tour with One Thorn Rose. They spent the past year recording an album and released 3 singles. They all made it into the top 10 charts, not only in England, but America too. Harry had become their sort of manager. He thought that if he wasn’t going to be a radio personality, why not manage a band?   
Their love for each other had not faded, if anything it was stronger than ever. Louis’ family moved closer to him, and all of the boys apartment shuffled. Liam moved out to live with his girlfriend, sorry, fiancé. Niall moved into the apartment with Zayn and everyone assumed they were next on the engagement end of things. Harry moved in with Louis, and they often hosted sleepovers for all of Louis’ sisters.  
Harry honestly couldn’t think of a better way to live life. He was going to get to travel the world with to boy he loved, watching him as he made beautiful music and spending every moment he could by his side.  
Louis was bubbling with excitement for the tour. He couldn’t wait to spend the whole time sight seeing and falling asleep next to his boyfriend whose bunk he would most definitely be sneaking into on the bus.  
I guess not all that is broken is a goner; some things can be fixed if you just find the right solution.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Make sure to check out my other one shots  
> If you want to follow me, my tumblr is alittlem0rethunder.tumblr.com :)  
> I also post stories on watt pad under the same name, but I haven't updated in a while  
> Let me know what you thought!


End file.
